After the conflictAfter being insulted and offended, we often feel stress and anger. Important is that all our emotions are generated by some part inside of us and directed to another part inside of us. Not outside. Why?
In democratic country, anger of citizens is directed to local politicians. In turn, local politicians try to blame some external enemy, other country etc, to waive their own responsibility.
The same is for our body. The external enemy per se is not our enemy - he is our teacher (as per the great Socrates). He showed is, that during the conflict our own politician acted e. g. like a coward (which is not acceptable for our citizens). Thus, instead of blaming external enemy, we need to make a conclusion and learn the lesson, what would we do differently in the similar situation next time.
After losing something
Say somebody stole something that is extremely valuable for us. Or somebody hit us, so we fell pain and injury. For truly religious believers, the answer is pretty simple. See more about applying religion in real life here.
One very smart and very rich investor once told: "It is not yours - it is His".
Even if we own $billion, it is not ours. On the bank account, there is our name listed right next to the money amount. However in fact this money is not ours. It belongs to Him, everything belongs to God. We cannot take all the money to the graveyard, early or later we all be there. If we earned something - it is because of God only. He did it on purpose, he gave us a gift and he is waiting for us to use this resource to complete our life mission.
So back to the initial problem: how can we feel stress if somebody stole something that does not belong to us? Why should we carry about money stolen that is not ours? God gave, God took it back. It is not hours.
The same is for everything else. If a relative dies - we should not cry ever.
But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead. – Matthew 8:22.
If we cry about dead relative - that means we don't believe that his soul is alive after death - that means we don't believe in God.
Questions to ask yourself
Did I call the person I am angry on? Meet he/she personally and let him know your problem. In the most cases, problems are resolved after personal meetings.
In the most cases, revenge is not necessary, after we respond to ourselves to the following questions:
What bad things did I do for my enemy in the past?
Did my enemy suffer from other circumstances? (e. g. cancer illness etc)
What good things did my enemy do for myself in the past?
Have I ever committed something bad towards other person, so I left unpunished?
Do I have to worry about something more important? Or don't have anything else to do? Can I postpone my anger and revenge for the future?
In case of steal, did I really use the object being stolen? Maybe it is better for the global efficiency that somebody else will use it more efficiently? Karma will return us something as a present in the future.
High importance and low importance
If we are angry on something, that means the object of anger is very important for us. It has high value and high importance. Or maybe it is just because we overvalued it? Or maybe it is because we undervalued everything else in our life?